I believe that parents desire to give their children more positive reinforcement than negative. One of the most basic human desires is to have love and appreciation expressed to us. I heard a great catch phrase when it comes to recognition: “Recognition, babies cry for it, grown men die for it.”
As a parent, I’ve come to understand on a much deeper level just how badly humans want to be recognized. It’s a deep emotion embedded within each of us, and kids are especially attuned to it.
Here’s a simple change that parents can do to better improve positive reinforcement with their children. Right before your child goes to bed, take five minutes and replay the interaction you had with him that day. From that five-minute review, take a second to list out, in your mind, the positive things your child did during the day. Pick one positive thing that he did and hold onto that thought. Hold onto it until after teeth have been brushed, pajamas have been put on, prayers have been said, and the last tuck of the sheet has happened.
Right before you turn to walk out say something like, “Hey buddy, I just wanted to let you know how…” and use this brief closing moment right before your child drifts off to sleep to heap mounds of praise on him for that one specific act he did. This simple change will have a tremendous impact on both the child and you as well.
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This one exercise just might be the turning point in your relationship, especially if it had been a little strained over the past few weeks. Perhaps it will encourage you to find even more ways to create positive moments to be remembered.
I’d love to hear how this change of thinking affected you and/or how your kids responded to this new nighttime routine in the comments below!
